Things I thought as a child

Oftentimes, I think about how life looks and feels different as an adult when compared to what it was like when you were a child. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Life was so much easier (and MUCH less stressful) when I was younger. I didn't know what was going on in third world countries. Wars didn't bother me because I never saw the violence and never heard about the casualties. Christmas was the best day of the year (no question), and a little hug and a kiss made all my troubles (and boo-boos) go away.

Recently, I've started to think about the things that I know now that I didn't understand before. I would laugh at myself thinking "how could you think that?" It just reminds me how differently children may view things. Mentally, I started a list a few months ago of things that I thought when I was a child. Most of them were obvious misinterpretations of things and I took many things literally. Some of them are silly, some of them are weird and some of them simply just make you want to say "what?"

• "Drinking and Driving" meant drinking any type of liquid while driving. I think I've only told this story once. My mom was drinking coffee (I think) and we were heading off to church. I was sitting in the front seat of our van. We passed an anti-drinking billboard saying "Don't Drink and Drive" and added something about how it's against the law. I remember my reaction to this billboard. I turned to my mom and I told her "You're in trouble! You can't drink and drive!" She was busy driving so she didn't bother to explain what it meant. She just said "No, it doesn't mean normal drinks." I didn't understand what that meant. A little while later we arrived at church, and I was still bothered by my mother "drinking" and driving. There was a group of people talking (to this day, I still can't remember who) and I brought up drinking and driving. They all agreed that it was a very bad thing to do and told me to never do it. Then I announced "my mom drinks and drives." I was crushed and I almost didn't notice my mother's reaction. Needless to say, she was very embarrassed and it wasn't until later that I found out what "drinking and driving" actually meant!
• Chicken pox was an itchy disease spread by chickens if you played with them too much (Yes, I know... what?)
• Washington DC was the capital of Washington state
• Alaska was way down south of America right next to Hawaii exactly like the map shows instead of up next to Canada
• Hawaii was right next to California instead of way out in the ocean
• The Boston Tea Party was one big fancy party for upper-class citizens (then I felt stupid when I learned all about it in history class during middle school)
• G.I. Joe was a man's name instead of a group of men in the military
• All the superheroes were brothers and sisters (Superman, Spiderman, Batman, etc) (Yes... again, what? In my defense, I never read any of the comic books)
• According to Tom and Jerry, cats and dogs (and cats and mice) CANNOT be friends. I remember the initial shock of seeing a neighbor's dog and cat that were very best friends
• Goofy was some kind of mutant (but cute and friendly) mouse instead of a dog
• After seeing The Little Mermaid, I believed that there were real mermaids out in the ocean, and I wanted to become one
• I was amazed at how anything and everything you ate (no matter the color) always came out brown
• Blue moons meant that we'd have a real blue moon. I kept my eyes out for a blue moon for a long time but never saw one :(

The list could go on, but a long list would only reveal just how clueless I was. Right now, I'm wondering what else is out there that I haven't discovered yet!