Desserts, Friends - and oh, Christmas Too

Christmas was quiet for me this year.  Quiet is good.  Until I start to get bored.

But you didn't come here to hear about how bored I am, right?  You came here to find out about that pretty little cake I've been raving about this past week on Facebook!

Well - here's how it turned out....

See this adorable puppy?  Just looking at her makes you feel like you wanna squeeze her tight, scratch her ears and bathe in her wet licks, right?  Right!  Well, this adorable little ball of fur managed to ruin my cake. Go ahead and laugh.  There, don't you feel better now?  I know it felt good after I was able to laugh about it.

Thanks to my "lack of thinking ahead" as J would put it, Midnight (aka 12am) had a blast with my cake.  She brought a whole new meaning to "finger lickin' good"  After I had put the initial frosting on, I left the cake on the counter a bit too close to the edge and went upstairs to take a shower.

J came home while I was getting ready and casually asked me if my cake was done.  I was a bit preoccupied so I told him "yeah, sure, the frosting's done but I need to add something else on it."  He gave me a weird look so that got me thinking that he was the weird one.  Um yeah, the frosting's on, can't you see that?

I came downstairs, took one look at my cake and well - internally, I lost it.  12am had licked the frosting off half the cake!

As a result, I had to cut my cake in half and brought the good half to a friend's house.

At least we all got a laugh out of it....

I tried to salvage the cake the best I could and tried (and pitifully, might I add) to add trees on it like I saw in the picture.  I gave up, gave the frosting to J and told him "have fun with it."  He went ahead and randomly dropped green frosting on top of my cake.

Final outcome:  The cake looked funny, but at least I got the ornament part right.  And the cake was still delicious.  The homemade buttercream frosting was the best part.

Hope for Fat Dogs

How cute!

White and Nerdy - Funny!

Found this video today... with subtitles!

White n Nerdy - Captioned Video- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

My Favorite Comic

I first saw him on a summer reality show called Last Comic Standing. He ended up winning the season and the title. He's hilarious!

Josh Blue - Last Comic Standing- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Kitten Tribute to Mario!

As you may already know by now, I'm a fan of Mario and his games. Well, I only like three of them. That's better than zero, I guess. I came across this photo online and decided that I just had to post it!

Dancing Kittens

I stumbled across this video today. I had not laughed so much in a long time... ok, I laughed plenty on Saturday when there was an, ahem, rollerblading accident. THAT was funny! In fact, I laughed about it on my way home from work today! I'm laughing about it now! Poor you, mystery person!

Anyway, these kittens are so CUTE! And so coordinated! Enjoy!

Save a Life...Adopt a Puppy

I could not have said this better.....

The Worst of Yahoo! Answers, Part 2

I had so much fun looking for the most idiotic questions and answers on Yahoo! Answers, so I decided to do it again! Hope you enjoy this one as well...

How can a 15-year old girl lose weight really fast?
Answer 1: Anorexia
Answer 2: Chop off your ugly head

Do girls know they have boobs?
Answer: What!?! I Do??

Is it weird if I enter the pool with my penis point down in speedo and up when I come out of the pool?
Uhh... what?

My girlfriend is pregnant and she isn't having a period anymore. Think the baby is drinking her blood? I'm real worried.
Answer: maybe its a vampire baby... check for fangs at the next ultrasound! You big dork.

Does anyone know a spell (magic) to break up a friendship?
Answer: What you do is get a clove of garlic, wave it around your body in a circle three times. Then crush it up, add lemon juice, and drink it. After you're done vomiting, take some time to reflect that you shouldn't be breaking up other people's friendships.

Why do I feel a heart beat in my penis (while masturbating)?
Answer: It's got a mind of it's own!

If you find yourself in a hole, is the first thing you do is to stop digging or try and continue to dig your way out?
Answer: If I'm in a hole I push in as far as I can then pull out and then push back in again. I continue the process until I am sick. I am called a penis.

I have no idea what to do with my life????
Answer: Me too

Does a fridge have a light bulb in it?
Uhh what?

Why do people consider beastiality to be so wrong?
Seriously!? Ew!

The search this time around was a little bit harder. Unfortunately, I came across some really stupid and gross questions. Others were hilarious. Figured I would put them up on here anyway.

So...You want to be a clown

I was browsing the Internet today. It's no different from yesterday, except I had free time on my hands. SO... I came up with the idea to look for the stupidest and funniest questions/answers on Yahoo! Answers. Yahoo! Answers is a tool that allows people to come together to ask and answer questions. The topics range from anything from Sex 101 to troubleshooting equipment. There are some intelligent questions followed by intelligent answers, from which you can really learn from. And of course, because we have stupid people living among us (we REALLY should do something about that), there are stupid questions and obviously, stupid answers. My favorite answers are the best type of any kind - sarcastic and funny answers to just plain stupid questions. I was thoroughly entertained and I hope you will be too.

"I want to be a clown, what colleges are good for me?"
Answer: McDonald's Drive Thru

"How are babies made? Do you swallow an egg and become pregnant?"
Answer #1: No, well you are sleeping and your boyfriend climbs on top of you and that's how it happens
Answer #2: Why don't you give it a go?
Answer #3: Yep, exactly...so better stop eating those poached and scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Answer #4: Yes, you buy them at the grocery store. They're in the DUMMIES ONLY aisle.

"How do you get away with murder?"
Answer #1: Kill yourself
Answer #2: Join the military. Not only it's legal, you'll be applauded

"Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right place for their eyes?"
Answer: Dude, check again. If you see a tail above the hole, you're looking at the wrong end.

"I made Jesus-shaped pancakes, but I burnt them. Am I going to Hell?"
Answer #1: I think if you top them with butter pats in the shape of Mary, you'll be ok.
Answer #2: Wait three days and resurrect them. Then you'll be saved :)

"How do you ask a question on Yahoo! Answers?"
Answer: You just did, FOOL!

"I live in Georgia, but I don't see Russia. They say there's tanks, should I be worried?" (Sub-question) "I heard on the news that Russia has invaded, but I don't see them anywhere. What's going on?"
Answer: You are in the state of Georgia. The nation of Georgia is on the other side of the world.

"Have you ever felt stupid?"
Answer #1: Stupid people never FEEL stupid. That's what makes them stupid.
Answer #2: I get told I'm too stupid to realize I'm stupid, but how does that work? I don't get it.

"Why are the answers to the Yahoo questions so stupid?"
Answer: The question is, why do people ask questions like this one?

"Is Spiderman real?"
Answer #1: He's my friend and he lives in my basement
Answer #2: Yes, I am actually Spiderman and right now, my spidey senses are tingling

"How to turn computer monitor into mirror?" (Sub-question) "Does anyone know if it's possible to use a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work."
Answer: I can't believe you attempted to scan a mirror!

"My boyfriend has skin cancer... should I leave him?"
Personal response: You #*$! idiot!

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

A Terrible Tragedy

I received some sad news today. A dear friend emailed me to pass on the news. I was utterly shocked but when you think about it, it's not totally surprising. I can just hope that we can all remember him for who he really was and preserve his memory lovingly. He was a gentle soul and made us all laugh. We should all take life lessons from him.....

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

Rules of Houston

Another one of my "Houston" favorites.

• You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Hue-stun," not "Ewe-stun", or "house-tun" Oh yea, the street is pronounced "San Phil-ee -pay, "not" San Phil-eep"(San Felipe). Enunciate, you idiots!
• Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
• All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610"... which has no beginning and no end.
• The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a "Scenic Drive."
• The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
• If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
• When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.
• Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.
• Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
• All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!" or "Whew, I hate Baytown!" or "Mmm, smell that Texas City!"
• If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
• All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.
• The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. In turn, the minimum speed on Westheimer is at least 45mph...
• The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.
• Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. IT'S LEGAL TO CARRY GUNS HERE!!!
• If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.
• The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.
• If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
• When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
• If you live in Katy and I live on the south side of Houston we'll never hang out.
• You are always able to be pulled over by any police vehicle, even if you were just given a ticket.
• You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.
• Else-where, they are called frontage roads... Here in Houston, they are called FEEDER roads, so don't look stupid when we say "Exit the feeder road and use the loop-d-loop"

You know you're in Houston if...

You've seen the emails. You've also rolled your eyes at them. I've done the same. But I couldn't resist posting my favorites when it came to Houston...

• The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.
• You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
• When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
• You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
• You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees.
• You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window shop (you can't afford to buy because the prices are jacked up for all the foreign tourists).
• Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
• You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. During rush-hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD.
• You've never seen I-45 and I-10 in any condition other than under construction - and you've lived here for more than 30 years.
• You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions.
• The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
• A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.
• You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. treasury.
• If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a GOOD hair day.

And finally... my personal favorite...

• You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiii-witness news" into a television camera every night. But some folks are still upset with him for shutting down the Chicken Ranch.