'Not Guilty' Verdict for Casey Anthony

The "Not Guilty" verdict for the murder of Caylee Anthony is definitely the most controversial verdict since the O.J Simpson murder trial.  The entire nation is angry (some may be relieved), shocked, and appalled at the jury; and everyone has no qualms about letting everybody know what they think of Casey Anthony.


Gone are the days (if only temporarily) of worrying over terrible news of the drought in the South, wildfires, and drug-related crimes.  There's bigger news to talk about.  The verdict has rocked the country and I have a pretty good idea that we'll continue to hear about this for at least 6 months from now.


My initial response upon hearing the verdict from a co-worker was shock, then frustration (how can our legal system fail!?  I know - that's a loaded question), then ultimately - understanding.  Before I start getting eggs hurled at my house for what I just said, let me state my case.  Finally - I have something worthwhile to blog about, and I get to exercise my passion - law.  Finally, a legal background that I get to use!


On the outside it's easy to form our own opinions based on what we hear from the media.  It's easy to decide that Anthony is guilty and that she should rot in jail for murdering her daughter.  But if it were you sitting in the jury seat, would you have easily come to the same decision?  Could you just have easily put a potentially innocent person in jail and maybe on Death Row? Granted, there's just too many suspicious things going on, lots of evidence that clearly points to her (right?), and she just keeps lying about what actually happened.  As crazy as this case may have seemed, we all have to remember that there are rules/laws to follow and yes, even Casey Anthony is presumed innocent until proven guilty.  I'll cover the crimes that Casey Anthony was charged with, the evidence that was presented, the claims that Anthony made, the rules the jury had to follow and where I think this case went wrong.


The Charges:
Casey Anthony was charged with four things...
1. Felony Murder in the First Degree
2. Aggravated Manslaughter of a Child
3. Aggravated Child Abuse
4. Four counts of providing false information to a police officer


Anthony was charged with child neglect back in 2008 on the basis that Caylee was still alive.  When it was determined that Caylee was indeed deceased, they dropped the charge against her and proceeded to charge her with the four crimes above.  My personal thought:  So a child must be alive for a parent to be charged with child neglect?  I wholeheartedly disagree.  If parent neglected his/her child for a month by not giving the child food/water (which ultimately caused the child's death), how can it NOT be neglect?  Apparently the law decrees that the child neglect charge is unnecessary because there are four other charges (which she HAS to be guilty of, right?  Right!).  Sadly enough, I personally think that if the child neglect charge stuck, the jury would have found her guilty of at least that.


The Evidence:
1. Hair in Anthony's trunk.  *Fun Fact: If any of you know me well enough, you'd know that I'm a big fan of the Body Farm over at the University of Tennessee.  They use donated bodies to conduct research on the circumstances of death, how long it takes to decay in certain environments and so forth.  Very cool.  It was actually the Body Farm that discovered hair banding - forensic evidence that proves whether the hair came from a living or a deceased person.  After death, the roots of the hair will develop a dark band.  The hair found in Anthony's trunk proved that a deceased person was in the trunk at one time.
2. Air samples taken from the same trunk showed chemical compounds that is present in the stages of decomposition.  However, it is still unconfirmed whether it was a human decaying in the trunk.
3. Chloroform was found in the car trunk.
4. A search on Anthony's home computer found Internet searches of "neck breaking", "how to make chloroform", and "death".  Casey Anthony's mother took responsibility for the Internet searches.
5. Laundry bag, duct tape and plastic bags found at the crime scene matched the materials found at Anthony's home
6. A heart-shaped outline was found on a duct tape found at the crime scene.  However, the outline faded when the duct tape was dusted for prints.  Heart-shaped stickers were found at Anthony's home.
7. A Winnie The Pooh blanket was found at the crime scene; the blanket was similar to the blanket that was missing from Caylee's bed.


After all the evidence, the case has got to be open-and-shut, right?  But there has to be other things to consider.  Let's take a look at Anthony's claims (or defense or whatever you want to call it)....


Anthony's Claims Defense:
1. Originally she stated that a nanny had kidnapped Caylee
2. She also stated that it was an accidental drowning (and that her father helped her cover it up... which her father denies doing)
3. She alleged that her father had sexually abused her since she was 8 years old and that her brother made sexual advances towards her.  With no clear knowledge of who Caylee's biological father was, both men were tested to see if they were Caylee's father.  (Can we say ew?)  The tests were negative and we still have no idea who the biological father was.  I'm not seeing why this claim has any validity in the case.  What does Casey's supposed sexual history have to do with her daughter?


We have to remember that we weren't the ones sitting in on the trial.  We didn't hear and see all the evidence, we didn't hear all the arguments and we didn't hear all the witnesses testify.... that is, unless you were glued in front of the television the whole time and watched the entire trial.  It's easy to talk with your friends, family and church members and come to the conclusion that Anthony is guilty.  Maybe she is.  Maybe she isn't.  Only she and God knows (as well as accomplices if there were any).  In determining whether a suspect is guilty of any type of crime, there are laws to follow.  There are no real punishments against a jury for coming up with a "wrong" verdict, but if it is found that a jury failed the follow the laws, and/or cannot come to an agreement on a verdict, the judge would probably call a mistrial.


Jury Rules:
1. The state must prove beyond a reasonable doubt of the following criteria in order to determine that the suspect is guilty.  If there is doubt of just one criteria, the jury will be required to return a verdict of not guilty or they may return a guilty verdict of a lesser crime - provided that all the criteria is met.
2. If they cannot agree on a verdict for the charges, they will be required to look at all the lesser crimes and decide if any others apply to the evidence provided.
3. The state has the burden of proof.  The jury is required to look to the state for the evidence and the explanations of the evidence.  The jury cannot base their decisions on the defense not being able to prove that Anthony did not do it.  They must look at the evidence that proves she did.
4. It is up to the jury to decide which evidence is reliable, if it is reliable and which evidence to ignore (because it is too circumstantial, etc).
5. The vote must not be unanimous but the type of verdict must be agreed on (murder in the first degree, second degree, etc).


Let's look at the charges and the criteria for each:

• Murder in the First degree (which can be either a felony murder or a premeditated murder
• Felony murder
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• The death occurred as a consequence of and while Casey Marie Anthony was engaged in the commission of Aggravated Child Abuse OR The death occurred as a consequence of and while Casey Marie Anthony was attempting to commit Aggravated Child Abuse.
• Casey Marie Anthony was the person who actually killed Caylee Marie Anthony.
• Premeditated Murder
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• The death was caused by the criminal act of Casey Marie Anthony.
• There was a premeditated killing of Caylee Marie Anthony.
• Aggravated Child Abuse
• Casey Marie Anthony knowingly or willfully committed child abuse upon Caylee Marie Anthony and in so doing caused great bodily harm, permanent disability, or permanent disfigurement.
• Caylee Marie Anthony was under the age of eighteen years.
• Aggravated Manslaughter of a Child
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• Casey Marie Anthony’s act(s) caused the death of Caylee Marie Anthony OR The death of Caylee Marie Anthony was caused by the culpable negligence of Casey Marie Anthony.

Since the jury couldn't find Casey Anthony guilty of anything above, they now have to look at the lesser crimes.

• Murder in the Second Degree
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• The death was caused by the criminal act of Casey Marie Anthony.
• There was an unlawful killing of Caylee Marie Anthony by an act imminently dangerous to another and demonstrating a depraved mind without regard for human life.
• Manslaughter
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• Casey Marie Anthony’s act(s) caused the death of Caylee Marie Anthony OR The death of Caylee Marie Anthony was caused by the culpable negligence of Casey Marie Anthony.
• Murder in the Third Degree
• Caylee Marie Anthony is dead.
• The death occurred as a consequence of and while Casey Marie Anthony was engaged in the commission of Child Abuse OR The death occurred as a consequence of and while Casey Marie Anthony was attempting to commit Child Abuse.
• Casey Marie Anthony was the person who actually killed Caylee Marie Anthony.

She could have also been charged and found guilty of the two lesser crimes:

• Attempt to Commit Crime
• Casey Marie Anthony did some act toward committing the crime of Child Abuse that went beyond just thinking or talking about it.
• She would have committed the crime except that someone prevented her from committing the crime of Child Abuse or she failed.
• Child Abuse
• Casey Marie Anthony intentionally inflicted physical or mental injury upon Caylee Marie Anthony OR committed an intentional act that could reasonably be expected to result in physical or mental injury to Caylee Marie Anthony
• The victim was under the age of eighteen years.

Based on these criteria, the jury has found Casey Anthony not guilty.  The vote did not have to be unanimous but there had to be just enough votes to be the majority.  The majority decided that none of the evidence presented met any of the criteria 100% for any of the crimes and that there were reasonable doubts that Casey Anthony was directly responsible for the death of her daughter.

Where the case went wrong:
The evidence was there.  As clear as day.  But the problem lies with the DA.  The State didn't do a good enough job of proving beyond a reasonable doubt that Casey Anthony is responsible for the death of her daughter.  There were just too many circumstantial evidence.  It's apparent that Caylee was murdered.  It wasn't exactly clear who did it.  There were loopholes in the Defense but the jury chose to ignore that.  If the child died of an accidental drowning, why would there be a need to put duct tape over Caylee's face?  We all know that duct tape is mostly used to bind a victim and/or to quiet them.  If Caylee was already dead, there would be no need to put tape over her mouth.  If it really was accidental drowning, why didn't she (or her father, who said he helped cover it up) just call 911 and have the body taken away and have a proper funeral?  Unless they had something to hide...But, there's always a "but"....

Reasonable doubt can be an annoying, pesky little thing, but if it were you sitting in the hot seat and you really were innocent, you'd be damn thankful for reasonable doubt.

Now that the verdict and the trial is out of the way, what is stopping the State from charging Anthony as an accomplice?  In the eyes of law, an accomplice is someone who participates in the crime knowingly, willingly and with common interest.  An accomplice aids in the crime without actually committing the crime itself.  The accomplice could aid the crime in any way, but more specifically knowing about it and not doing anything about it and/or helping someone cover it up.  If someone is found guilty of being an accomplice of a crime, the accomplice will receive the same punishment as if he/she physically committed the act.

Something tells me that even though this particular trial is out of the way, the case is far from being over.

Much Ado about Nothing

Time for very random post with multiple very random thoughts.

I've all but given up trying to write recaps of the Biggest Loser and enlightening my audience with my insights and corny jokes.  I adore the show, but I just haven't had the time motivation to write about it.  Maybe because I get my trash-talking fix during the show (poor Jon) and whenever I hang out with my other best friend (you know who you are).  I had fun at the beginning when I wrote my first recaps a couple seasons ago, but then it felt like a chore.  It was turning into a job I had to do because I had readers who kept asking me "when are you going to put up the next recap?"  I was starting to dread logging into Blogger and opening up a new post to write.  When I had to something specific write; when I knew people was expecting something, the pressure exponentially increased.  I had to be entertaining.  So I figured I'd stop while I was ahead (you can enjoy my one and only post for Season 11 here) and just focus on writing whenever I wanted to write.  Then maybe, just maybe I'd write more often.  Um, yeah.  Problem solved (not).

I'm about to turn 29.  My last year in the 20's.  I hear the 30's is pretty scary and that's when you'll start to feel really old.  Or maybe my friends are overreacting.  Either way, I'm going to try to make this my best year yet.

It's really frustrating when I have a ton of things I want to say and write about, but when I finally get my butt over to Blogger, these thoughts disappear.  I need a muse.

I quit Netflix recently and made the transition to Blockbuster.  There are a couple things I really like about it, one being that they get the newest movies right away as opposed to having to wait 28 days for Netflix and Redbox to stock them.  There are things I dislike as well.  I'm still trying to decide if there's more pros than cons.

I went to a carnival last night just to check it out.  I'm a sucker for carnivals, especially at night.  The carnival was selling a pass that allowed unlimited rides for $20.  Usually this isn't a bad deal, but this carnival was particularly small.  No thanks.  Sure wish I could find a good traveling carnival around here that I could go to.  That would be fun.

Oh - and speaking of last night, I got spoiled.  We went to Carl's Jr for dinner and I didn't have to pay.  Wow, right?  It was probably one of the best 'dates' I've had in a long time.  At least it can only get better from there, right?  I'll expect something better next time, dude!  My birthday's coming up.... *Hint hint.

Is It Over Yet?

Wow, I really need to get back to writing more often. After reviewing my last post - I realized just how behind my blog is. So much has happened in my life in just a short period of time. I am having a hard time coping with everything but I'm thrilled with the path my life is taking. Just take it one day at a time, right? Wouldn't hurt to have friends to talk to about it :)

Well - first things first, I didn't take that ASL job offer. First I thought I might take it, then decided "absolutely not." Then a few days later, I woke up feeling anxious about my bills and thought that money would be the way to go. More money = bills paid = happy life, huh? Probably not. I've searched within myself and asked different types of friends for their advice. Funny thing is - I don't even know why I asked for their advice because I already knew what type of responses I'd get from each of them....

J - sure enough, he told me to go for what would make me happy and not for the money. Probably because he went for the money and is miserable.

R and C - Both told me to go for the money. Obviously because they'd like to have better opportunities and their bills paid.

Everyone else - "That's something you have to decide for yourself." Gee - big help from them.

As you can see, after talking to a select few friends - I was getting nowhere.

So.... one morning, I woke up and decided - I better talk to my boss about the possibility of leaving. I talked to her and after a long and productive chat, she convinced me to stay. I have to say - I'm extremely happy with my decision right now.

Now - about the house... yes, I can't resist. 4 MORE DAYS!!! I cannot WAIT to finally move into a house where there's room for my children and dog to run around in. The backyard is super and extremely roomy. I see the possibility of having get-togethers at the house... yay!

I'll say this now... L & P - you guys would be the first people I'd invite. You guys mean lots to me!

Everyday whether I'm packing, watching TV, working or driving - my mind wanders over to the house and the tons of opportunities I'd have. I thought I'd record them here so that I don't forget my ambitions!

1. I'd love to get some canvases and just splash and flick on it to make abstract paintings. Wouldn't that be so cool!?

2. I would really like to get into the garage (or backyard) and try my hand at spray-can painting again. I adore the painting I made over 10 years ago and would like to make more.

3. I really need to have a space where I can do scrapbooking and finally finish the 5 quilts I've started. My bedroom is HUGE so I can set up a nice desk with organizing drawers next to it in the corner of my room for all my craft supplies. One reason why I don't do puzzles or scrapbooking is because my kids will get into them or my cats will sit on them and scatter everything around. With tons of space in my bedroom, I'm hoping I'll be motivated to finish my projects. I can lock my kids, dog and J out of my room and FOCUS! Looks like a trip to "The Container Store" is in the near future! Or probably Hobby Lobby would be good enough.

4. I've always wanted to try my hand at decorating. It takes money and I never felt the need to go all out at an apartment. But I'm hoping that this time around, I'll roll my sleeves up and put some nice looking stuff (and not too expensive) in the house and make it feel like a home.

5. I'd LOVE to get a big flat-screen TV. I'll have the space for it now. Yay!

6. My neighborhood has a walking trail by a creek (or a bayou, whatever it is) and sidewalks all over the place. I'm going to start rollerblading again and allow my kids to ride their bikes on the sidewalks so that we could all get some exercise. Who knows if I'll keep up with it.

7. I can finally get back to working out with my Jillian DVD! I bought it last summer and it requires jumping jacks and stuff like that. There's people below me that doesn't appreciate my working-out, so once I move into the house - I'll have the go-ahead to jump all I want. When I started on the DVD, I worked out 6 days straight and was seeing the difference by day 3. I've LOVE to start feeling that way again!

8. More to come.... :)

Major Decisions Suck

I hate what luck I've been having. As many of you know, I've been looking for a job for a long time. I've worked different odd jobs, taking whatever income I could get. I landed a full-time job that I hated for little money - but it was better than no job at all. Then I got laid off. Fun, huh?

I've had to learn to make ends meet with just my part-time data entry job (from which I was laid off in May), my volunteer teaching position and whatever savings I had left. In the spring, I applied to any school district I could think of and that I was willing to work at. When summer rolled around, I was as positive as possible - thinking that I would land a teaching job by fall. As the days went by, my positive thinking became diminished. Halfway through summer, I was contacted about a job out of state. At first, my initial thought was "no way" but then I reconsidered and decided that it might be fun. Once I convinced a friend to move with me, I went ahead and applied for the position. Weeks went by and I heard nothing. I was feeling pretty discouraged.

August came and by then, I've had 3 job interviews but no offers. By luck, I got a job through networking. A girl I went to high school with contacted me and asked if I wanted to work at her mother's company. She knew I was looking for a job, but she wasn't sure if I'd want this job. After a week of being in contact with my friend's mother, an interview was set up. I went to the interview and was hired on the spot - but only as a temporary assistant to help them through the busy season (which would last through October). This position may or may not become permanent. I was in desperate need of money so I took it.

Within days of starting at AFT (A Finishing Touch), I was contacted by the state school in PA and offered a job. This was two weeks before their classes would start. My friend had already started classes and made the decision to stay another year. It wasn't realistic for me to pack up and move everything within two weeks and then start teaching. I had to turn them down. Two days later, they contacted me and asked if I'd please reconsider and that they will have a sub to take my place until I was ready to move. Nice, huh? I felt it wasn't the right timing and since I had a full-time good paying job already in Houston, why move? So I turned them down again, but expressed that I would love to move up there next year.

Now - a day after THAT, I was contacted by HISD and was asked to be a long-term sub for 6 weeks. I would be subbing for a teacher who needed to be out for surgery. While I really wanted the job, it was only temporary. At the time, my position at AFT was temporary, but had the potential to become permanent. So I said no to HISD.

A week after HISD, Cy-Fair contacted me and asked if I wanted to come on as a long-term sub for a new girl that would be transferring into the district. She needed full one-on-one attention. However, this position would only last until they had a meeting to decide where to place this girl. If she stayed in the Deaf Ed department, the position would become permanent for the current school year. If she was moved to an adaptive behavior classroom setting, the position would end. Again - I was thrilled at the offer but had to turn it down. I couldn't leave something that was potentially permanent for something that was probably only temporary.

After 2 weeks (just one week after turning down Cy-Fair) of working at AFT and proving my skills, my boss gave me a raise and asked me to stay on as a permanent employee. She wanted me to take on more responsibility and take over for a girl who would be quitting in February when her baby was born. Turning down HISD and CFISD seemed to be good moves. Everything worked out....

I was contacted again by CFISD asking to be a regular sub and I was promised I'd be called in everyday and kept busy. They desperately need sub teachers that are qualified and know ASL (so if any of you are looking for jobs, contact CFISD). I decided to stay with AFT because of the income and other reasons. Now - with a flurry of job offers coming my way - that had to be the end of it, right? Wrong.

A few days ago, I was contacted by Fort Bend ISD to join them as an ASL teacher. This was one of the positions I interviewed for during the summer. They didn't want me and decided to go with someone else. That person decided not to take the job and the other candidates turned down the position as well. Basically, I was their last choice and they need me now. My first initial response was to say "No, too bad." If I'm so bad that they considered me as the last choice, then I wouldn't want to work with/for them.

All day long, I felt queasy. I was put in a position that I didn't want to be in. Yes, I know I shouldn't complain. Getting all these job offers has been nice but the timing on all of them sucks. It seems to me that the school districts are scrambling to fill in their empty holes and they want me to fill it. How does that make me feel as a person? I understand that as a new teacher, they may be apprehensive about hiring me and once I proved myself, they'd be happy with me and ask me to stay another year... but still, it makes me feel lousy.

I've gone back and forth in my head millions of times about what to do. No brainer - right? It's a teaching job, pays well, has good benefits and not to mention all the vacation time. But that's where the positives stop. Here are all the negatives: I just got a house and I'd be moving away from Fort Bend (and closer to AFT). It would be a 45 minute drive to work - which is what I'm driving now. I guess it shouldn't make a difference but I moved partly so that I could be closer to work. Ironic, huh? Another thing is that I'm not looking forward to dealing with high school students. I don't like them - simple as that. The third thing I don't like about this job is that it's an ASL position. I never wanted to teach ASL (I don't even use it). Fourth - I'd have to make new child care arrangements. Right now, I'm able to get my kids off to school then go straight to work. I only have to worry about child care for after school for about two hours until I got home. Now I need someone to get them off to school in the mornings and watch Logan until I get home around 3:30. Anyone interested in a paid part-time child care position? :) Fifth, the hours aren't flexible. At AFT, my boss says to just come in whenever I can in the mornings and work 7.5 hours from there (we get paid for lunch). It has been nice being able to do that. And 6th (yes, the list goes on and on), I'd have to (ew) dress up. At AFT, I come in wearing jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. How nice. At Travis HS, I'd have to wear nice clothes. Gross.

I really like being at AFT... although some of the rules are a little strict (no Internet and no phones), I can get by. The co-workers are nice and I work with two deaf people. I actually like my job - I'm busy, have my own desk, responsibilities, etc. I see a potential of getting raises and stuff if I stay there. I get to play with the websites that we have. I'm learning codes. I upload photos, add products, organize the website, do the invoices, sales orders, manage the customer contact list, get the email newsletters out to them, etc, etc.. Lots of things to do so it's not just one mindless boring thing.

BUT... the money just keeps getting back to me. I'd be able to pay off my debt in just two months. I'd have plenty of money left over for fun and the best thing about all this is that I will finally have good benefits.

Yesterday - I had decided. I wasn't going to take the job. But today is another story. I think I'll take it.

Sometimes good luck can be a curse.

The Unknown

"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

I had this quote in one of my posts a while back. I found it fitting to post it again. Sometimes we all have to remind ourselves that in order to experience new things, we have to let go of what we are familiar with. It's scary to step into the unknown but sometimes that's what we have to do. It's even better if you have a friend or someone to do it with instead of being all on your own. I know I'd rather have someone with me - admittedly, I don't have the guts to do much on my own. That's probably my greatest downfall.

I got offered a job yesterday. Today was my first day. It's an alright job that pays me enough so I can pay my bills. It's a temporary part time job that may or may not last until October. They may keep me on until January. Or maybe not. It may last longer than January. Or maybe not.

I got another job offer today from Houston ISD. I am being offered a long-term sub position if I want it. It's only for 6 weeks.

What I'm mad about is that the jobs are temporary. What I need is a permanent stable job that gives me an income for the next school year. Is that too much to ask!?

A while ago, I was playing around with the idea of moving to another state for a job if I was offered the job. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that I wanted to move. I still want to move for many reasons. The weather being one of them. NYC being the other.

Now - I'm thinking that even though I was offered these two temporary jobs (and I can only have one, not both), it wouldn't last. So now I am thinking that maybe I still want to move anyway. A part of me thinks that it's a stupid and rash decision. The other side of me thinks that this is what I may need to do. Maybe I'll find a job there that isn't teaching-related.

One thing is for certain - I HATE JOB HUNTING!

All of a Sudden...

It's been 8 days since I've last contributed to the blogosphere. I've been out and about lately. It's funny how the whole summer I've had almost nothing to do and yes, I complained about it to whoever would listen, that I've got hundreds of things to do now. It's not that I was looking for a pity party but just a venue to vent my frustrations out. My problem isn't lack of interest in things - God knows I'm interested in LOTS of things. My problem is being alone. I hate hate HATE being alone. How do I cure that? No clue.

Now that summer's almost over, I'm finding myself with lots of things to do. Last week, I was pretty concerned about finding things to keep myself busy (and not being alone). The one and only person that I spend most of my time with was going out of town so I was feeling a bit lost and wondering how I would ever pass the time. Even though I never said anything, it seems that my concerns were heard by many. All of a sudden, I've had people contacting me left and right - inviting me over to their homes, spending the night, going out to dinner, etc, etc. My head was spinning trying to fit everybody in.

Now I know how J feels. Trying to accommodate everybody and everything and still try to do what I want. I haven't slept in my own bed in a while. I can't remember the last time I ever slept someplace else. It was probably a few months ago and it was at a hotel. It seems that every time I go out and sleep someplace other than home - it was at a hotel. Now I am finally sleeping over at other people's houses. It's weird. Lately, I have come to hate my apartment. The walls were starting to close in on me. But now, I'd be grateful to be back in my own bed.


The way my plans are going right now - I won't be back in my own bed until Sunday night at the earliest. I THINK I'll be home after that, but a friend's trying to convince me to go up and visit him for a couple days. So that means maybe I won't be back in my bed until the 6th or so. Oy veh!

I can't complain. Right? I'm not complaining now, but I do have one little wish. I wish that everything would balance itself out to where I'd be going out plenty and still be at home at times. It'd be nice to do that instead of being at home for 2 straight months then going out for 3 straight weeks.

Anyway, I better get going here. There's 6 of us here sharing one computer and I think I've used up my time. I'll be back in a few days, hopefully, armed with pictures from the camping trip and much more interesting things to say.

Deciding What's Important

I actually started this post two days ago... having the kids around after being gone for 5 weeks is hectic. I spend all day trying to entertain them. When I'm not entertaining them, they are kind enough to inform me by sticking by my side everywhere I go. They have even formed a habit of following me into the bathroom. How annoying is that!? By the time they are in bed, I am at the point of where I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. I spend most of my evenings watching TV and movies now - because there's no way I can do that during the day. Thank God for DVR.

The kids are gone for the evening. I have an early morning and didn't want to make it any earlier than it is so I decided to drop them off at the baby sitter's tonight. Even though my hands are aching (I messed them up a few years ago by typing TONS of papers for my BA degree, and when I spend a tad bit too much on the computer nowadays, my hands let me know), I'm going to use this downtime to finally write.

I've been thinking about the last 7 years of my life lately... pretty much since my daughter was born. I became a mother fresh out of high school, but that never stopped me from going to school. I was determined to prove everyone wrong when they said I wouldn't make it. I vowed to never become a statistic. The last 7 years of my life was pretty much being a student and a full-time mom/wife. I have worked a total of 6 jobs in my entire life. Only one of them was full-time and that only lasted for 2 months before I was laid off. All other jobs were either short-term or only required me to do data entry a few hours a month. That's hardly a job.

Now that schooling is over, there is no job at the moment and I've downgraded from full-time mom/wife to just a full-time mom (working overtime) - I've thought about what I should be considering. Job hunting has taken a toll on me. I submitted TONS of applications when I completed my BA degree and received my TX certificate. There's only about 1,000 paralegals in the state of Texas that hold a certificate - and I'm one of them. That oughta land me a job, right? Soon enough, I found out that having a BA and a certificate means nothing if you don't have experience. But - that's a whole 'nother story. I allowed myself to feel down for a while, picked myself back up and went back to school to get a teaching degree. Surely, I'll have an easier time finding a job then, right?

I've looked for various part-time jobs over the last few years, but never seriously pursued anything for lack of interest and motivation. I had a means to pay my bills so why drain myself? So... school's over so it's time to get a job.

When I look at the last 7 years of my life, I spent a lot of it just playing around. I was at home all the time, played lots of computer games and watched TV (in between running errands, taking care of kids, and cleaning house). I suppose I could continue this way of life - but frankly, I've had enough. It's time for me to work and to contribute to society.

I've sent in applications to at least 5 school districts around Houston. I've had two job interviews. I didn't get the first job and a decision hasn't been made yet at the 2nd district.... I've started to wonder now - maybe I should look elsewhere.

Moving to another city/state is scary. Many times, I have told myself and many others that I would never leave Houston. It's my home - always has been and always will be. If things didn't work out here, I'd just be moving in with some other people and living a different (that means poor) life. Anything just to stay in Houston.

However, I've recently started to think.... I need my sanity and I need to feel that I'm worth something. That means I need to work. Does that mean I will have to move? Only time will tell.....

Recognizing The Benefits of Deafness

The benefits of being Deaf:

1. We have the innate ability to block out annoying sounds (ha!)
2. We can stand clear across the room from each other and still be able to
communicate quietly without bothering others.
3. One can stand inside on the 3rd floor of a building with windows closed
and still be able to communicate with another down in the parking lot. So
cool, huh?
4. We can talk about anybody or anything we want (for instance, bowel
movements) in a public place and not worry about being "overheard." BUT -
be careful, you just never know who may know how to sign.
5. When you're having an argument with someone, you can "scream" as
loud as you want with your signs and still be silent!
6. My favorite: When you're arguing or being annoyed by someone, just
avert your eyes or close them - instant solution to making the person go away
(unless they constantly tap you or follow you around - which I will do
if you ignore me)!

All joking aside, Deafness can be considered a hardship. Depending on your family, the amount of your hearing loss, your first language, and millions of other factors, some of you may experience more hardships than others. We face many things: discrimination, lack of communication with parents/people, slower language development, and so on. But ultimately, if deaf people are supplied with the proper tools and match them up with motivation and desire to improve themselves, every deaf person can be successful in one way or another.

Last night, I was up all night talking to J about lots of random things. We saw Star Trek a few days ago, so we talked a bit about that. The movie was awesome! I know very little about the characters and stuff, but found the movie very interesting and captivating. Anyway, off the topic here... We eventually started talking about the frustrations of being Deaf. The number one problem we probably face as a Deaf person is communicating with other people. Something as simple as giving directions or asking someone to hand you a wrench could be problematic. I grew up with enough hearing to talk on the telephone, listen to music and carry on as an almost-hearing person. I also developed the ability to speak well (most of the time), so I could not totally 100% relate to the profoundly Deaf. However, since losing all my hearing 14 years ago, I've had to learn to deal with a new problem - not being able to hear anything at all.

I was at the movies the other day. Something as simple as purchasing a movie ticket could become a really embarrassing task. I've maintained my ability to speak, so stating the movie title is not a problem. However, when I told the lady that I wanted a ticket to Star Trek, she said "12:40." I understood her and the numbers she was saying, but somehow, I had thought it was the dollar amount she was charging me. I kept telling her, no - $7.50. She repeated "12:40" several times then finally tapping at her watch. Finally, it dawned on me. She was asking me which time I wanted a ticket for. Duh. (But in my defense, the next movie wasn't until like 1:30, and when we were purchasing tickets, it was 12:15 or so. It would make sense that we'd want to see the 12:40 show instead of the 1:30.)

Even though we face a lot of hardships, there are plenty of good things we can bring to the world. Here's a word of encouragement. Even though you may face hardships such as communicating with others and not being able to express yourself the way you may want to, there are many fine qualities that you can bring to people. Think about it, as a Deaf person, you have been given a tool, a tool called experience. Through your personal experience, frustrations and your opinions, you have the power to influence people to think differently about the Deaf and our culture. You have the power to make an impact in people's lives: both hearing and deaf.

I don't see myself as one that is fully embedded in the Deaf culture but I do appreciate it. As Deaf people, we can educate others about the workings of the Deaf culture. You can inspire others to become an excellent interpreter (and we know we could use more of those). Or, if they do not become interpreters, they may become an advocate for the Deaf community and play an active role in supporting Deaf rights. Before you "Deaf Power" people start criticizing me, I do believe that the Deaf community should be led by the Deaf, but it never hurts to have hearing people to take an active interest in our culture. After all, there are lots of more of them than there are of us.

Finally, maybe we were born deaf (or lost our hearing) for a reason. Maybe we were put here to help other less-fortunate Deaf people. This is my number one reason for becoming a Teacher of the Deaf. I want to use my experience and my connection to the Deaf community to help young Deaf children grow to become successful. The best kind of role model for young deaf children is a Deaf adult who has the knowledge and motivation to push the children beyond their limits and help them recognize that anything is possible.

If you want to think out of the box, think about the Deaf people that reside in third world countries. Who better to help them than Deaf people who have compassion for their own kind? Someday, I'd like to travel someplace and spend several weeks helping the less-fortunate people in any way I can. It'd be good for anybody - to see and understand the reality of what these people go through... not only facing deafness (which earns them almost no rights in their country), but hunger and diseases. I guarantee you (and myself) that we'll appreciate the American life far greater than we do now.

So, next time you think about the things you can't do, start thinking about the things you CAN.

An Unexpected Dinner

Last night, I encountered an unexpected surprise. Well, aren't all surprises unexpected? Surprises are fun - especially when I don't know it's coming. I'm not one to wait patiently during Christmas season or when it comes to a planned surprise. Whenever someone tells me, "I have a surprise for you," I will want to know right away. I have absolutely NO patience when it comes to waiting for surprises. That's why it's best whenever you have a surprise for me, don't tell me. And that's exactly what my friends did.

My birthday was on the 22nd. I did not plan on doing anything during the week, but I did want a small get-together with a few friends on Saturday just to hang out. J said he was going to take me out to one of my favorite restaurants for my birthday on Friday. Although I wasn't expecting anything, I started to look forward to it. On Wednesday, he asked me "why don't we go tonight instead?" Later, he ended up saying "let's just go tomorrow." I thought, "ok... whatever."

Wednesday night before going home, J asked if we were still going to Escalante's. I said, sure... and didn't think anything about it at all. Thursday, he came over and asked "you still want to go to Escalante's?" Again, I said "sure" and well, I thought it was a little weird... I'm not the type to change my mind often and I consider myself very laid back and easygoing so I was wondering why he kept asking. But - I didn't begin to suspect anything.

On the way to the restaurant, J was on his sidekick often. That was unusual. When he's around me, he doesn't touch his sidekick for hours. Sending messages back and forth was pretty unusual for him. Assuming it was work (maybe some issues) or about his dad, I casually asked if everything was alright. He threw me off when he said "oh, I just have headache." But again, that didn't tip me off. I just thought he didn't want to tell me what was going on. I was really curious but didn't want to press him.

Things started to get really weird when we got to the restaurant. We go in and ask for a table for two. Jon says he has to go to the bathroom. That isn't unusual, he's a lean mean peeing machine. Always peeing! But what really bugged me is that he went the wrong way. I thought he was just an idiot and didn't know where the bathroom was. I ALMOST chased after him to tell him he was going the wrong way. After a while, he came back and said... "I have a really cool picture I wanna show you in the bathroom! Come look!" I thought to myself, boy - he's a moron. A cool picture in the bathroom? AND the bathroom is the other way.

I didn't want to argue and just followed him. I didn't see anything until he stepped away and pointed to the table. I saw 4 friends sitting at a round table with two empty chairs. Two balloons were tied to a chair, two cards and a chocolate cake in the middle of the table. I was SHOCKED.

I enjoyed the evening. I ate really good food and chatted with friends. It had been a long time since we were all together in one place so it was really nice to have that. You know what? Another really cool thing is - I got an awesome PINK card! Thanks P!

I'll remember this birthday for a long time. Thanks for making it memorable!

Becoming Physically Active

I mentioned in my previous entry that I've started to change my eating habits and trying to become more physically active. In the midst of "The Biggest Loser" craze, I impulsively joined Jillian's online club. Don't get me wrong - I don't think I'm fat (or too fat). Just a little chubby in some areas, mostly baby fat. I'm at the right weight for my height and build, so I don't really need to lose weight. My goal is to lose the fat I have, become toned, healthy and active. As for me joining Jillian's online club, you may think it's so cliche. I have no doubt that it'll work, it's all up to me to stick to it. Jillian has an incredible track record. Every person that has won the title as 'The Biggest Loser' was trained by Jillian. I feel bad for Bob, though. He's really, and I mean REALLY, cute and he's so nice (compared to how Jillian can get!). I wouldn't mind having Bob train me :)

Anyway, I joined Jillian's club a few days ago but haven't started my workouts yet. My first day of the program starts today. So far, I'm really liking the website. It tells you how many calories you can eat each day depending on your physical activity level, your metabolic rate and all that stuff. I took a detailed quiz on my body type, what foods agree/disagree with me, what I crave, etc to find out what my metabolism is. Then, from there - I found out what type of foods I can/should eat. On top of all that, the website has built a customized menu for me, 3 meals and a snack, every day of the week. I can simply change a menu item to an available option if I don't want to eat it. I can print out a shopping list for all the food for the entire week and just go. It's a super-nice feature. The website also has workouts for you to do everyday. You can simply print them out and take them with you. There are 5 circuits of 3 exercises each and I have to go through each circuit 3 times doing 15 reps each. Uh oh. What did I get myself into? I'm still waiting on her DVD and book to arrive. I'm wondering if I can do the online exercises AND her 20-minute daily workout from the DVD. I'll find out soon enough.

Another feature on the website is a journal to keep track of your thoughts, feelings and weight progress (there's a chart that you can do to track your weight by adding a new number each day, week, whatever). Below is my first entry on the website... I thought I'd share it with you:

It's 8:30 in the morning and I feel blah. I guess it has more to do with
not getting enough sleep than anything else. I'm on my 5th week of the
secondary internship at Barbara Jordan. I'm also teaching GED English on
Tuesday nights until 9pm. I also do data entry for MMS whenever I
can. On top of it all, I try to find time for myself - TV, movies, playing
with my kids and sleeping - though sleeping is at the bottom of my list. I think
I have indulged myself too much with TV/movies. But on the other hand, I
have been more physically active lately. Not very active - but I
rollerbladed the past two weekends. I got a free week pass at a
gym and went three times. All three times, I worked out for a minimum
of 2 hours. That's more than I ever did in the past. I tried my first
Jillian recipe last night. I cooked Festive Thai Shrimp. Good, but
could be improved. I did not measure my food so I think I ate more than a
serving. I didn't even finish my bowl, though. Carbs fills me up
quickly. Every night, I set a goal to start working out "tomorrow." But
everyday, when I wake up tired and drained, I think that I wouldn't be able to
find the energy to exercise. Let's hope that changes at 4:30 when I get
home.

So... with the program starting today for me, I am determined to follow the schedule they've given me. I get two days off each week - that's good, right? I'm wondering if I'll actually go through with the exercises. Right now, I'm thinking I'm going to force myself to do it no matter what, but who knows? I'll keep you updated.

You're not Alone...

Don't we feel like this from time to time? Nice to know we're not alone.

When people take on too much

There is such a thing as being conservative. And it's not a bad thing. Apparently, some people don't understand the meaning of the word. I'm not referring to religion... I'm referring to being smart about how much you can handle and saying "no" when you should.

One of my many pet peeves is people who take on too much, thinking they can accomplish everything, and end up doing such a bad job on most of them. I do have respect for those who love to roll up their sleeves and be involved in their cause, taking on different tasks to help make things a success. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's smarter to just delegate responsibilities.

I do recognize those who feel the need to do everything on their own. Sometimes you just can't trust others to do a good job and feel that you are the best person to do it - so it's just best to do it yourself. I've been there and done that. And I still do it. Maybe I should work on my trust issues and allow other people to help me out when I need it. Maybe you should too, if you have the same problem.

And there are others who take on too much simply for the fact that they can't say "no." Perhaps they're afraid of disappointing other people. Perhaps they're afraid of being criticized or deemed lazy if they did not say "yes" whenever people asked for help. People like those need to understand that they're not a total failure if they feel that they aren't up to the task or feel that they wouldn't have time for it/do a good job.

I have been dealing with several people at my graduate school that are just oh, SO busy and apologize fervently for not returning my emails for days. "I'm just so busy" is the common excuse among them. Yes, I understand that they're busy, but being in the profession that they are - working closely with students (ahem, or they're supposed to be) - they should know better than to leave a student hanging for several days before getting back to them.

I don't mean just an email asking a casual question. I'm talking about advising to get ready for internship and graduation. I'm talking about actually giving us our grades instead of making us wait 8 weeks for it. Yes, 8 weeks and I'm not exaggerating. And if a student asks you a question about an assignment a week prior to the date it's due, do NOT wait until the day before it's due to answer.

At the moment, I am trying to get my student teaching set up for the spring. I have been in contact with the school district and we are both ready to move forward - however, my advisor is pretty much non-existent right now. He isn't answering my emails so all I can do right now is just sit and wait. I did just find out that I possibly may not even qualify for student teaching because my advisor failed to check in with me and let me know that I was supposed to do this and that beforehand (like filling out forms that was due at the beginning of the FALL semester)... things I was not aware of. I would expect that an advisor would work closely with all his students to make sure they are progressing well in the program. If I received some sort of schedule of things to do and due dates, I would have done them. I have heard nothing of this requirement until just now. I blame the advisor.

If, in fact, I find out I cannot student teach because of this, I am going to give my advisor hell. I'm going to try my best and do what I can to get my foot in the door because I am determined to student teach in the spring.

So here's a word of advice - Doing more doesn't mean you're a better person or you're pleasing more people. If anything, doing more than you should could mean you'll do worse. So instead of doing a fantastic job with one or two projects, you could be doing a really horrible job doing 4 or 5 projects. And by doing a horrible job on all (or some) of your projects, you'll just get poor review from your peers. And so finally, by attempting to please everyone, you've actually disappointed a few.

Shadows aren't just shadows

It was a beautiful day today. After a short stint of brisk weather, we were greeted with warm sunny days and cool breezes. I love days like this. My son and I set out today to run some errands. It seems that lately, most days we have to step out of the apartment to run an errand or two. Not that I mind getting out of the apartment on such nice days, I usually prefer to do all my errands at once on the same day.

Today, I had to go out to the post office and stop by my daughter's school to pick up the frozen cookies for a fundraiser the school had just done. I have about 13 items stacked in my fridge waiting to be distributed to its owners. Yummy. I'm tempted to bake some of my own cookies for myself tonight!

As my son and I stepped out of the apartment, I noticed the sun was spilling into the stairway. It was a nice view. Logan had started to creep tentatively and slowly down the stairs. He was also squinting due to the sun shining into our eyes. He stopped mid-way on the top set of stairs (we go up and down 3 flights everyday!) and looked to his left. The sun spilled over his head and caught his shadow on the wall. Logan was amazed. Imagine that there's a dark figure on the wall. And it's moving!

He immediately called out (and signed) "head!" and pointed to the shadow. "Yes, that's a head... YOUR head," I told him. He stood there for a couple of seconds just staring and analyzing his own shadow. Usually, I like to rush and get things done, but today - there was a calming and serene feeling to just stand there in the sun's warmth and watch my son. As we trekked down to the second flight of stairs, he looked up at the wall and noticed the shadow was gone. He was extremely puzzled. He looked at me and gave me a shrug as to say "I don't know."

He continued down the stairs to meet me and finally, saw his shadow again spilling down right beneath him. His eyes light up and a huge smile came on his face. When he moved, the shadow moved. It was very fascinating to him...

We finally made it to the car some few minutes later. He sat in the car happily and kept repeating "go, go!" We made it to the school only to be informed that the cookies wouldn't be ready for pick-up until 4:30pm. Oh well. We made it back to the car, but not before Logan saw his shadow again. This time, he tried stepping on it. He tried to catch it. He tried to escape it. A disappointed 2-year old failed to understand just what a shadow was.

Off we went to the post office. We skipped across the parking lot and was just about to enter the post office when - surprise, surprise - Logan noticed his shadow again. He stood there quietly for a while. It was as if he was trying to come to terms that a shadow is always there, but just out of his reach. Suddenly, I waved to him using my shadow. He turned around quickly and gave me the biggest smile I had ever seen. He turned back around to his shadow and gave me a wave. Finally - he understood.

Shadows aren't just shadows. It's a whole different world - a world full of imagination. Next time you're outside and it's a bright and sunny day, take a while and say hello to your shadow... I dare you.

Day One of Unemployment

Today's the first day of the rest of my life. I often wonder what that really means to people when they say that. Obviously, it means starting over and today's the day of new beginnings. Tomorrow's a new day and so is the day after that. Theoretically, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life also - and the day after that, and the day after that and so on. All in all, that sounds really nice - being able to start a new day everyday (and starting over) but many of us don't even realize the chance we're given to begin a new day. Granted, sometimes I'm just tired of living. Tired of having to wake up, tired of having to start another day, tired of having to go through the same routine day in and day out. But at the same time, I enjoy life - I can't even bear the thought of dying young.

Anyway, in light of recent events, I'm trying hard to stay positive. I was laid off yesterday (boo-hoo). Work had considerably slowed down and I was going home early everyday. I won't lie, I really enjoyed going home early even though I needed the money. What was I to do? Even though I had known work was pretty bad, I wasn't prepared to hear that my boss was letting go of a lot of people. He had to let off the entire 2nd and 3rd shifts in all departments, 4 from my department and 15 from another department. That's bad. Obviously, I was shocked by the news and pretty upset about it. To be suddenly cut off from my main mean of income, I started to wonder how in the world am I going to pay my bills? My boss apologized over and over and said he expects to have work in about a month. If and when he gets work, he'll definitely call me to go back. I'm not holding my breath though. What if there isn't work to do?

Staying positive does have a unique effect on people when they choose to exercise that attitude. Even though I was miserable and worried all day long, I forced myself to believe that it's not the end of the world. I have another job - a part-time job. So I'm not totally broke. After speaking to tons of contacts and letting them all know I was looking for another job - I applied to 4 places yesterday. Off to a good start....

Even though I still worry, I am liking my new routine. Imagine this: T-minus 10 seconds of commute time...as opposed to an hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. I slept in until 9am (after getting my kid off to school, of course), took a couple steps to get some coffee, then another few steps and I was in my "office." I have enough work right now to last me a while so I think I'm safe for now. But it would be nice to have a roommate...

It's nice being back at home again. In the middle of working, I stopped and played with my son for a long while. I watched tv, did laundry and cleaned a little bit while working as well. By the time my daughter came home from school, I was done working and completed most of my chores. I got a little bit of spring cleaning done too.

A friend came over to borrow some books. I had realized that some of my most prized books weren't on any of my bookshelves so I decided to take a look around. I found a box packed full of books that I had read when I was a young girl - from about 3rd grade through middle school. That box held my favorite books. As I was sorting through these books to refresh my memory of what I had, I felt a tug at my heart as I reminisced over the memories of these books. Some of these books still had that fresh book smell and others smelled musty and worn. I love these smells. Right then, I decided I would like to read them all again. As I was looking through my books, my daughter approached me and took an interest in the books. I had an idea and asked her to choose one. Since these books were just a little bit too advanced for her, I told her we'd read these books together.

So I sat down with her and started reading the first book she chose - Sideway Stories from Wayside School. As I was reading with her, I was reminded of yet another positive aspect. While my kids can drive me insane on many days, I get to relieve my childhood through them. How awesome is that?

And so it continues...

It's Sunday night. I should be sleeping - but I can't. Guess I'm too wound up from the past week and weekend. Been staying busy with homework, work and other stuff. I've been so busy the past two weeks or so, one day I crashed at 5pm and slept all the way through to 4am the next morning! Needless to say, I showed up to work VERY well-rested and ready to start the day.

I had a fairly productive weekend. I spent my Saturday fixing up the new deaf center that we're opening in 5 days. I enjoyed doing inventory, painting and putting my body to work, but boy I was sore by the end of the day! I twisted my knee somehow so it's been painful to get around lately... especially up three flights of stairs several times a day.

Enough about the happenings in my life. That's boring compared to what's going on around me. First off, gas prices have majorly dropped and is still dropping! The last time I was out (earlier today), I saw $2.78 per gallon!!! Earlier in the week, I saw prices dropping and dropping so I was holding out on getting gas for my car. At $2.99, I had thought it might not drop any lower so I filled my tank up. The next day, it dropped another 10 cents. I sure hope the gas prices keep falling - that's a huge help for most of us who aren't rich.

It's 1929 all over again. Stock market is crashing and crashing bad. When I saw the news the other day, it had started to climb a few points (a hundred or two) but was still dangerously low. Now's the time to start buying some stocks.. you're sure to make a quick buck once the stock market goes up again. Too bad I don't have the money to invest.

I've been blogs, news articles and TV interviews on the $700 billion bailout bill that the government recently signed. Some are positive and some are negative. I'm afraid I'm on the negative side. The bailout money is to help banks from crashing and closing - and therefore, losing their customer's money. The purpose of the bailout was to give the banks some money so they won't have to foreclose on a whole bunch of houses that are behind in payment. That goes for other kinds of loans (vehicle and credit) that people aren't paying on... this allows the people to still be in debt and the bank can say "oh, it's no big deal, pay us when you can, we have some money now."

They're taking $700 billion of taxpayer's money (not much of mine - I haven't worked much yet) and essentially giving them to homeowners who are behind on their mortgage payments. Why should we have to bail them (and the banks) out? They are the ones who signed the loan contract and the banks are the ones who gave them the money. Why do we have to jump in and help them out with their dumb decisions? I sincerely believe that if people cannot afford their home, they should sell it and downgrade. Of course, I understand if people run into some hard times financially. I've had a few of those hard times myself over the past few years. People are getting laid off left and right with the bad economy - but that's why everyone should have a safety net. If you don't have money to fall back on then you shouldn't be thinking about getting a house. You should be focusing on building a savings account, retirement fund or any kind of cash to fall back on.

Of course, I won't be able to guarantee that if I was the one who owned a house and was having financial problems, I would feel the same way I do now. I might actually be thankful for the bailout bill - so I could keep my house. But I would probably feel guilty about having other people's taxes help me keep my house when I probably don't even deserve it in the first place.

Oh well - not much you or I can do about the bailout bill now. It's been signed and it's going into effect. I don't know much about business, finances and Wall Street stuff, but I think I can say that I don't think the bailout bill isn't gonna work. As long as the economy is doing crappy, the money is just going to disappear into thin air. The government will have to sign Bailout bill #2. Even that wont happen, a lot of people are going to fight against it I'm sure. At least I hope they do.

Thank God It's Friday!!!!

Whew, I just had the busiest and longest week ever! All I can say is - Thank God It's FRIDAY! A friend once said (and I TOTALLY agree) that once he started working again, Friday (and the weekend) took on a whole new meaning. Friday and the weekend means freedom. Freedom to sleep in (when my kids let me), freedom to stay up late (if I can stay awake), and freedom to be lazy (when I don't have homework, and this and that).

I started the week out with a very specific routine in mind. Needless to say, that didn't happen. I have SO much to complain about and I get stressed when I can't do the things I intended to do. Yes, I'm going to write out exactly what happened to me everyday. Don't care if anybody reads it - mostly just documenting it for my own sake. If you end up with a headache by the time you're done reading, then perfect! You can suffer right along with me!

Sunday:

I was going to go to church, attend a meeting, socialize, deal with my responsibilities then go home to REST (I hadn't gotten much sleep the week before) and grade papers. I ended up staying much longer (try 4 hours longer) than I anticipated. Instead of resting, I stuck around and built a set of table and 4 chairs. Yep. Just me and my sister (with me doing most of the work), in a room with no air conditioning. When I finally got home, I was pooped. I forced myself to grade papers anyway - they were due the next day. Bed at midnight - only 5 hours before I have to wake up.

Monday:

I had plans later in the evening so I set aside a few hours that day to do very specific things but then someone else unexpectedly showed up so my list of things to do got pushed aside. The only thing I accomplished was turning in the papers I had graded. Then...I got more to grade. The only good thing that happened that day was - I got to watch a movie. Bed at 1:30am - 3 1/2 hours before I have to wake up.

Tuesday:

I decided I'd do the things I was supposed to on Monday and everything else I decided to do on Tuesday. Guess what happened? Someone showed up again so my plans got pushed aside. It wasn't until late Tuesday night that I finally got around to doing something and I didn't even finish. It was 1am - only 4 hours of sleep before getting up for work. What fun.

Wednesday:

I had a meeting right after work at 4:30 for my son. I wasn't done until 6! So needless to say, my list of things to do got pushed back even further. I finally got the ball rolling after I fed my kids dinner and completed a few things. I struggled with a school assignment for 3 hours before calling it quits. I wasn't halfway done because a couple of stupid programs were giving me problems. Bed at 12:30 - 4 1/2 hours before I have to wake up.

Thursday:

The best day EVER! Work was slow so I was dismissed 3 hours early. Yay for me but boo for my bank account. I decided to use that extra 3 hours to grocery shop, do homework, grade papers and much more. Yeah right. I went to pick up my son and ended up spending time with my sister for an hour (that's always good). I got home and worked on homework. The same one I was struggling with for 3 hours the previous day. I didn't finish that assignment after I worked on it for another 4 hours. It's safe to say - I HATE making movies! My son activated the security alarm somehow - so it was going off most of the day. Fun fun fun! Emergency maintenance never returned my call and never showed up. I pitied my neighbors. Bed at 11 - that's early based on recent standards! 6 hours of sleep!

Friday:

Woke up in a positive mood - after all, it's Friday! I get to work and was informed of very sickening news. Work wasn't done properly (by someone else, mostly) so three of us in my department had to go over everything all over again. Yeah, fun! When I got home, the alarm was still going off so I complained to the people at the office. They sent someone over right away and finally turned off my alarm. Whew. Today, I was absolutely DETERMINED to complete at least three things when I got home. Mission #1: accomplished. Mission #2: failed. Mission #3: accomplished. I had plans to go out but ended up staying home. Guess I needed to. I got quite a bit done. But guess what, I'm nowhere near done with my "To Do" list.

It's 11pm and I have no plans of sleeping soon. I need to do other stuff and I'm tempted to sit on the couch and watch TV for some "me" time. To top it all off, I have a meeting tomorrow morning at 10am and another one after that.

Tomorrow afternoon - I am going to do what I want! I'm going to be all about me me me! I'm going to relax and have fun. I just hope that dream isn't a bit too far fetched.

EEEwwww!!!!

My son has the right idea. Lately, he likes to scrunch up his face, wrinkle his nose and say "eeww!!!" Usually, it's with a Q-tip in his ear or a finger up his nose. And that happens... a lot. There are plenty of things to say "ew" about. Work, school, stress, life in general. But not today - at least for me.

I'm feeling positive today. I wish I could say I took a happy pill or something special happened to me but nope. I just happened to wake up in a good mood. I had a good weekend - I was kept busy, which was good because I didn't work last week and was starting to get restless.

I went back to work today. Yeah - I'm crazy but I was looking forward to it. I can't imagine staying home all week, all day anymore. I need to be kept busy and soon, I'll certainly be busy all the time. Knowing myself, I'll probably be complaining about how busy I am within a week of starting.

Today was a little bit slow at work but we got a lot done. That's an ideal workplace for me: getting many things accomplished and not feel so rushed about it. During one of my downtimes at work, I made a long list of things to do. I was determined to get half of it done today. When I got home, I got to work and crossed most of them off. I deserve a pat on the back.

Right now, it seems like I have a lot going on - but I have a problem. I finish things too quickly. I work fast at everything I do and I work to get it DONE. Then I'm left with nothing to do or really, nothing I WANT to do. The fact that I work so quickly doesn't help me understand how some of my friends stay at work ALL day long - all WEEK long doing something that I could be done with in a few days and not even have to do it ALL day.

I'm excited. In about 3 weeks, I'm going to be teaching night classes at the Lillian Beard Deaf Connection Center. I'm going to be teaching GED courses to help Deaf people prepare for their GED exam. Of course, it's volunteer for now - but once we get funding (I'm also on the committee), we'll be hiring for full-time positions in different areas of the center.

Sometimes I feel cynical. I don't think it'll take off. Who wants to take a bunch of life management courses when it's not required? Who wants to take general education courses when it's not required? Although I know there are tons of people out there who don't have a high school diploma or a GED, who will come? I figure my courses could also help them prepare for college if they ever want to go back to school - since it'll be like a college preparation thing too with all the courses we'll be teaching along with a course on how to study.

But, I have to stay positive. The first of the life management courses are starting tomorrow. I'm anxious to hear the results.

Here's another thing I'm excited about. The new Fall TV lineup. I'm excited that my shows are coming back and there's new episodes to see. I was getting sick of seeing the reruns and all the reality shows.

Sorry this blog isn't an insightful one. I'm SO not in the mood for that. Maybe another day sometime soon....

Bits and Pieces

Plenty has been going on lately, both in my personal life and out there in the world, especially in politics. Normally, I don't care much for politics but this year, I took a special interest in the running mates and actively voted in the party nominations. Now that McCain is up for President, I lost interest....

No, this isn't going to be a long political blog. That's boring. My mind is racing with a lot of little comments about a wide variety of subjects. While presidency is important (like, really?), it's at the bottom of my list right now.

Today, I'm off from work. Work has been slow this week (Thank God for that, after a horrible week last week), so my boss gave us the option to work in another department or stay home. Naturally, I decided to stay home because I have things I need to do.

I realized this morning that I was growing up. My first thought was "I can sleep in!" I have to laugh...nowadays, sleeping in means sleeping until 9am after a week of waking up at 5am. I miss those days where I wake up at noon, but at the same time, I feel it's time to grow up and wake up earlier. I get a lot more things done during the day now. Being productive is a good feeling. Also, I tried sleeping close to 12 hours the other day and I woke up with nothing but a headache and feeling horrible. Not doing that again!

Here's a little bit of news. I received my paralegal certification in the mail yesterday. Yipee! I am now "Maryellen Sarles, CLA". That has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Since receiving my certification, this only means one thing - another round of job hunting. I sent out 7 resumes yesterday so let's see if I hear anything. I don't want to hear an excuse from the employers, "You have no experience." Yeah, maybe I have no experience but I have certification so I know my shit. Excuse my language.

I'm going apartment hunting today among many other errands I need to do. So good luck to me finding an apartment I'll be satisfied with (safety, neighborhood and price). I absolutely love where I'm at. I don't want to move for numerous reasons, number one being that I can keep my 3 pets. Now, if I can just find a better paying job, I'd be able to stay (and paralegal jobs pay goooood moolah). If not, I'd have to move. I have two weeks to figure everything out. Like that's going to happen.

Change of subject: I have to commend McCain. He's trying hard to stay in the spotlight after Obama's been getting all the attention. Poor guy, Obama's getting all the rave because he might be the first black president. Then the RNC experienced a set-back for a couple of days because all the attention was on Hurricane Gustav (wanna bet he's black?). Recently, McCain grabbed all that attention back. He's named a woman for his running mate. And her 17-year old daughter is pregnant (AND people are joking John Edwards is the father). I don't blame her daughter. What else is there to do in Alaska but to stay warm by having sex? Jokes aside, this is turning out to be an interesting election. No matter where the votes go, this election will have a first-something. First black president or first female vice president. AND, I'm willing to bet that McCain is going to croak in the next 4 years, thus making Palin the first female president (Ha! Take that Clinton!). I'd LOVE to see that happen. Kill three birds with one stone: 1. Republicans take over the US again, 2. McCain isn't the president, and 3. Clinton gets to sit back and watch another woman bask in her glory.

Well, I better get going. I have to be an adult now and go do my duties. Now, if I can just get this fat cat off my lap....

Things we have no control over...

We're finally seeing a small decrease in the price of gas, but I'm afraid it's only temporary and before long, the price is going to be driven up again. By this time next year, I suppose we might be facing prices close to $5 a gallon (and I'm talking about Texas, here).

Personally, I am feeling the impact of the rising prices... not with just gas but with everything else. Amazingly, just because the price of crude oil/gas has gone up, everything else has gone up as well. Here's what I determined... It all begins with gas resources.

Gas companies raise prices which results in an increase in shipping cost. Therefore, all stores and namely, grocery stores have to increase THEIR prices to meet the shipping cost and still make a profit. So, as consumers, we're experiencing the brunt of it. We're at the bottom of the food chain. You'd think with all the rising prices, we'd all get a little bit of extra income to balance it all out. Inflation... you've heard of it, right?

Gas companies raise their prices because they want a profit - simple as that. I don't want to hear the gas companies blaming other countries for raising their prices. Exxon Mobil alone posted a PROFIT of $11.7 BILLION in the fourth quarter ALONE of 2007. I repeat... $11.7 BILLION profit! That's the largest profit ever recorded by ANY company in history. Sadly, after doing some research, I discovered that Exxon Mobil is based in my very own lovely state, Texas - up in the Dallas area (Irving, to be exact). None of that foreign company or foreign oil/gas resources excuse - they don't apply! If Exxon is doing so well, it would be safe to assume the other companies are flourishing as well. Pathetic.

People are all in a frenzy worrying about gas prices. They're trading in their trucks and SUVS for sensible vehicles that have good mileage. As a result, dealerships are facing horrible losses, especially those that don't really manufacture vehicles with good gas mileage, namely Ford. US-based airlines are on the brink of bankruptcy too, if they haven't filed yet. Only Southwestern Airline is booming - but that's because they took a risk years ago of buying bulk fuel ahead and locking in their prices. They're paying what fuel cost years ago, not what it cost now. Smart.

I've gotten tons of emails urging people to buy gas from specific companies or on specific days. With enough people coming together and acting all union-like, gas prices are sure to drop!!! *Gasp!* Let's go! Yeah right, like that's going to work. People, it isn't going to work and the gas companies know it. We need gas. In Economics 101, it's simple. We have a need and they supply it. So therefore, they're in control and we have no choice but to buy at their prices. Where else are we going to get fuel for our cars? We might be able to find other ways to energize our homes but as long as we got a country full of cars running on gas, we don't have a choice.

I suppose we're faced with the age-old question... should fuel be regulated by the US government, or even the state governments? There are lots of pros and cons to this. When it comes to this, I remain undecided. It might be good to have the government regulate the cost, keeping the gas companies (especially Exxon) on a leash so they don't go out of control on raising their prices. However, if gas prices dipped way down below, we might not benefit from it because the government might want to make a profit off of THAT.

Profit, schmofit. The world's a crazy place. Must we add the headache of rising fuel cost and of course, the rising cost of EVERYTHING else in the US? Give us a break.

Pure-Breds vs. Mutts

I had a discussion with my dad the other day. We have different opinions on what type of pets are better... pure-breds or mutts. It all started when my family's pet died last week. She was getting pretty old (about 10 years old); she had arthritis in all 4 of her legs and had a huge tumor around her liver and spleen. My mom decided to put her down.

Two days after Happy died, I stopped by my parents' place after work. I hung out with my sister until my parents got home from the store. When my dad got home, he went into the kitchen to make some lunch. I decided to sit in the kitchen to keep him company and chat with him. While we were talking, he expressed sadness over losing Happy but was content with the idea of not having to take care of a pet. After 25+ years of having pets non-stop in the home, my dad was ready for a break.

We were sitting in the kitchen discussing animals (mostly Happy) when the news came on. Every Friday at 6pm and every Saturday at noon, the local news showcases a pet from the local shelter in need of a home. I took full advantage of that and pointed out how cute the little puppy was. The biggest selling point was that it would only cost $20 to adopt her.

My dad scoffed at me and said "she's a mutt." I could have kept my mouth shut but decided that I wanted to voice my opinion. If you know both me and my dad, you know we have the same personalities and we're both stubborn. I sat down next to my dad and casually asked him "Are you telling me that Happy was better than Frosty?" Happy was a pure-bred Scottish Terrier and my dog, Frosty, is a 2 year old Lab/Chow mix. My dad said no, but pure-bred dogs are better. I asked him to tell me why. He danced around the answer but eventually came to the conclusion that pure-bred dogs are better simply because they're pure (and expensive).

Honestly, I have to complain about that. Whoever thinks that pure-bred dogs are better compared to mutts has to be incredibly moronic. Sure, they'll net you a whole lot of money if you decide to breed them off and if you're a dog-show loving type of person, you might want to enter your precious little Sparky in the show in hopes of winning the award. But other than earning you money and winning an award, how are they better than mutts?

I think it's terrible that people are out there breeding dogs (and cats? I haven't actually heard about breeding farms for cats but it's possible) while there are thousands of dogs and cats being put down everyday because they couldn't find a home.

My own dog, Frosty, was found off the streets. He was wandering alone in an area with lots of shops and warehouses when someone I know found him. He was 12 weeks old at the time. The guy brought Frosty to a picnic we were having that day and asked around if anybody wanted a puppy. I hadn't planned on taking Frosty home, but I was keeping an eye out and hoping someone would take him. Ultimately, I knew that if no one would take Frosty, he'd end up at a shelter and some months later, if no one adopted him, he'd be put to sleep.

If you've ever looked into Frosty's eyes, you'd know how I felt that day. I couldn't leave Frosty's fate in the hands of another person so I took him home. And I do not regret it. He's the sweetest dog in the world and he's definitely equal to (if not better) all the pure-breds out there.

Bob Barker wouldn't have to remind everybody to spay and neuter our pets every day after the "Price is Right" if people would just go out and adopt more animals.

So do me and the thousands of cats and dogs a favor.... next time you want a pet, PLEASE check out a local shelter and adopt one instead of spending $600 on an animal that might end up giving you a headache.

I'll like you better for it.