Families and the Holidays

Every year, people go through the same routine. Around the holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, everybody packs their bags and head out of town to visit families. Or they would diligently clean their homes and buy lots of groceries if their families were visiting them. If your family lives in the same town - and if you're married, or have two sets of parents - you'll cram your days with visiting everybody. Not only the holidays are for families, they're for friends as well. Everybody is hosting holiday parties left and right.

I had just attended a Christmas party at a friend's house just the other night. It was a pretty big turn-out. I saw lots of people that I knew all in one place. This was the first party in a long time that everybody showed up at. And excluding New Year's Eve, that was probably the last party for a while.

So the holidays, all the parties and people seeing families had me thinking. Typically, throughout the year, you hear about people visiting families and hanging out on special occasions like birthdays, mother's day and father's day. But it's nowhere near as much as people would visit families for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Right around then, everyone has "family" on their mind...

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Families should be adored and appreciated. However, it has me feeling a little bit left out and bored. See, I have a very small family. Actually - I have family in Austin and Dallas, but haven't spoken to them in years. I have family in New Jersey and naturally, I'm just too poor and they're too far for me to see often. As a result, we don't keep in touch. So, the only family I have that I consider "family" are my parents, my sister and her two kids. And well, I see them... often.

I guess I should be lucky. I see them at least once a week. Back when I was working, I saw my mom everyday because she took care of my son while I was at work. So I guess whenever the holidays roll around, people are going "family, family, family..." and I'm thinking "so what?" Maybe this makes me a bad person. Maybe not. Like I said - I see my family... often. Probably more often than anybody else that I know right now. And if I don't see them, I talk to them - usually everyday.

I guess it's harder to appreciate something that you have if you're around it everyday. I guess part of my feelings towards family have to do with how I was raised. My family aren't very affectionate people. I've always known that my parents and sister love me - that isn't an issue. And my 3-year old niece is just crazy about me - she'd have to be ... I'm her only aunt! We just aren't the close, touchy-feely, sappy, hugsy-kissy types. So because of that, I'm very selective about who I'm physical with and aren't usually comfortable when someone gets a little too close. And no doubt, it has a small effect on how I am with my own children. But I try hard to change that....

Anyway, back to the point - so whenever the holidays roll around and people are spending all their time with families (again, nothing wrong with that), I feel left out and lonely. Sure, I plan on seeing my family on Christmas Eve. We have plans to eat dinner together. And I'll probably pop over again on Christmas morning to trade gifts and play with my nieces a little bit. But I'm sure that I'll get bored by mid-afternoon and will want to head home. However, there's nothing worse than spending Christmas Day alone.

So, let this be a lesson to anybody out there that will listen. For anyone who is whining about having such a big family, stop. Be glad you have family to hang out with. I, for one, wish I have a bigger family and have more things to do around the holidays.