Major Decisions Suck

I hate what luck I've been having. As many of you know, I've been looking for a job for a long time. I've worked different odd jobs, taking whatever income I could get. I landed a full-time job that I hated for little money - but it was better than no job at all. Then I got laid off. Fun, huh?

I've had to learn to make ends meet with just my part-time data entry job (from which I was laid off in May), my volunteer teaching position and whatever savings I had left. In the spring, I applied to any school district I could think of and that I was willing to work at. When summer rolled around, I was as positive as possible - thinking that I would land a teaching job by fall. As the days went by, my positive thinking became diminished. Halfway through summer, I was contacted about a job out of state. At first, my initial thought was "no way" but then I reconsidered and decided that it might be fun. Once I convinced a friend to move with me, I went ahead and applied for the position. Weeks went by and I heard nothing. I was feeling pretty discouraged.

August came and by then, I've had 3 job interviews but no offers. By luck, I got a job through networking. A girl I went to high school with contacted me and asked if I wanted to work at her mother's company. She knew I was looking for a job, but she wasn't sure if I'd want this job. After a week of being in contact with my friend's mother, an interview was set up. I went to the interview and was hired on the spot - but only as a temporary assistant to help them through the busy season (which would last through October). This position may or may not become permanent. I was in desperate need of money so I took it.

Within days of starting at AFT (A Finishing Touch), I was contacted by the state school in PA and offered a job. This was two weeks before their classes would start. My friend had already started classes and made the decision to stay another year. It wasn't realistic for me to pack up and move everything within two weeks and then start teaching. I had to turn them down. Two days later, they contacted me and asked if I'd please reconsider and that they will have a sub to take my place until I was ready to move. Nice, huh? I felt it wasn't the right timing and since I had a full-time good paying job already in Houston, why move? So I turned them down again, but expressed that I would love to move up there next year.

Now - a day after THAT, I was contacted by HISD and was asked to be a long-term sub for 6 weeks. I would be subbing for a teacher who needed to be out for surgery. While I really wanted the job, it was only temporary. At the time, my position at AFT was temporary, but had the potential to become permanent. So I said no to HISD.

A week after HISD, Cy-Fair contacted me and asked if I wanted to come on as a long-term sub for a new girl that would be transferring into the district. She needed full one-on-one attention. However, this position would only last until they had a meeting to decide where to place this girl. If she stayed in the Deaf Ed department, the position would become permanent for the current school year. If she was moved to an adaptive behavior classroom setting, the position would end. Again - I was thrilled at the offer but had to turn it down. I couldn't leave something that was potentially permanent for something that was probably only temporary.

After 2 weeks (just one week after turning down Cy-Fair) of working at AFT and proving my skills, my boss gave me a raise and asked me to stay on as a permanent employee. She wanted me to take on more responsibility and take over for a girl who would be quitting in February when her baby was born. Turning down HISD and CFISD seemed to be good moves. Everything worked out....

I was contacted again by CFISD asking to be a regular sub and I was promised I'd be called in everyday and kept busy. They desperately need sub teachers that are qualified and know ASL (so if any of you are looking for jobs, contact CFISD). I decided to stay with AFT because of the income and other reasons. Now - with a flurry of job offers coming my way - that had to be the end of it, right? Wrong.

A few days ago, I was contacted by Fort Bend ISD to join them as an ASL teacher. This was one of the positions I interviewed for during the summer. They didn't want me and decided to go with someone else. That person decided not to take the job and the other candidates turned down the position as well. Basically, I was their last choice and they need me now. My first initial response was to say "No, too bad." If I'm so bad that they considered me as the last choice, then I wouldn't want to work with/for them.

All day long, I felt queasy. I was put in a position that I didn't want to be in. Yes, I know I shouldn't complain. Getting all these job offers has been nice but the timing on all of them sucks. It seems to me that the school districts are scrambling to fill in their empty holes and they want me to fill it. How does that make me feel as a person? I understand that as a new teacher, they may be apprehensive about hiring me and once I proved myself, they'd be happy with me and ask me to stay another year... but still, it makes me feel lousy.

I've gone back and forth in my head millions of times about what to do. No brainer - right? It's a teaching job, pays well, has good benefits and not to mention all the vacation time. But that's where the positives stop. Here are all the negatives: I just got a house and I'd be moving away from Fort Bend (and closer to AFT). It would be a 45 minute drive to work - which is what I'm driving now. I guess it shouldn't make a difference but I moved partly so that I could be closer to work. Ironic, huh? Another thing is that I'm not looking forward to dealing with high school students. I don't like them - simple as that. The third thing I don't like about this job is that it's an ASL position. I never wanted to teach ASL (I don't even use it). Fourth - I'd have to make new child care arrangements. Right now, I'm able to get my kids off to school then go straight to work. I only have to worry about child care for after school for about two hours until I got home. Now I need someone to get them off to school in the mornings and watch Logan until I get home around 3:30. Anyone interested in a paid part-time child care position? :) Fifth, the hours aren't flexible. At AFT, my boss says to just come in whenever I can in the mornings and work 7.5 hours from there (we get paid for lunch). It has been nice being able to do that. And 6th (yes, the list goes on and on), I'd have to (ew) dress up. At AFT, I come in wearing jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. How nice. At Travis HS, I'd have to wear nice clothes. Gross.

I really like being at AFT... although some of the rules are a little strict (no Internet and no phones), I can get by. The co-workers are nice and I work with two deaf people. I actually like my job - I'm busy, have my own desk, responsibilities, etc. I see a potential of getting raises and stuff if I stay there. I get to play with the websites that we have. I'm learning codes. I upload photos, add products, organize the website, do the invoices, sales orders, manage the customer contact list, get the email newsletters out to them, etc, etc.. Lots of things to do so it's not just one mindless boring thing.

BUT... the money just keeps getting back to me. I'd be able to pay off my debt in just two months. I'd have plenty of money left over for fun and the best thing about all this is that I will finally have good benefits.

Yesterday - I had decided. I wasn't going to take the job. But today is another story. I think I'll take it.

Sometimes good luck can be a curse.