Friends vs. Acquaintances

I got another one of these fun chain emails where you have to answer a bunch of questions so your friends (who already know you) will learn things about you (that they already know). Sometimes I ignore these things because really, who cares? But sometimes if the questions are fun and I’m bored, I’ll fill them out and send them to friends. I even send them to friends who I KNOW don’t like chain emails – just to make them read about ME! Yeah, I’m conceited.

This particular survey just asked you to list two things about yourself in different topics… pets, favorite food, what you’re wearing at that moment (I’ll bet you that a guy came up with that question) and so forth. Nothing special. But it reminded me of another survey that I filled out a couple years ago. One of those “Vs.” emails. You know the type. Would you rather drink water or milk? Would you rather have loved and lost or have never loved before? You get the point. One of these questions were “Would you rather have a few friends or many acquaintances?”

I’ve always been shy, but I guess people probably wouldn’t know it. When I’m asked why I don’t have more friends or I don’t have an easier time getting to know people, I always reply with the same boring monotone expression “because I’m shy.” “What? YOU’RE shy?” Ha, as if you didn’t know it.

With people that I’ve known for a LONG time, I’m not really shy. And yeah, because of church, I’m always around people that I’ve known FOREVER, but do I really know them? Do they really know me? For people that I know casually and have seen in various places, I usually have a difficult time coming up with something to say other than “Hi, how are you?” So I tend to avoid them. Sad, huh?

For people that know me well, I feel bad for them. I can be a bit outgoing, I guess. Maybe even crazy. But hey, it’s all fun. Lately, I’ve started to spread my wings a little bit. I’ve started going out more often and going to places where I don’t know anybody (except the one or two friends that I went with). This weekend, I’m going to a wedding where I will only know three people really well. I’ve just started to get to know the bride and groom and I definitely won’t know most of the 250+ guests. But you know what? I’m looking forward to it.

And my birthday. I got a crazy friend who I probably shouldn’t have trusted to plan my surprise bash. Surprise? Yes, surprise. Even though I know something is going to happen, I don’t know what. He’ll probably invite a bunch of acquaintances that I have only seen maybe 2 or 3 times in the last year. But that’s ok with me. I’m looking forward to it, I think!

I am enjoying meeting new people so far. I think I feel happier. I’m getting the adult interaction that I need. Being a mom and a housewife, my only source of real interaction is pretty much my kids… 24/7. So it’s nice to get out on the weekends. Of course, it never hurts to have a guy buy me a drink :)

While it’s all fun, I guess it boils down to whether I’d rather have many people I don’t really know well or a few people that I know well and they know me well. Right now, I can only count on one hand and one finger the number of people that I consider real friends. Pretty much 6 people. You know who you are. Sure, if I add in a few more people that I consider friends but not CLOSE friends, I guess I can count on two hands. But I’m talking about the people who really know me and the people that I know well. Knowing many people can be fun, but it can also be lonely. When you need someone to talk to or someone to trust, you might not want to trust a casual acquiantance. I know I would feel weird talking about my problems or my feelings with someone I've seen twice a year, once a week for an hour, or once a month for a few hours.

It’s been great meeting new people and seeing acquaintances. I will probably keep going out with friends and hang with new people I’ve met. When I meet someone new, it takes me a long time to become good friends with them. I’m picky. But when it all comes down to it, I’m happy with the friends I got. I’m happy with the fact that when there’s something bothering me, I got someone to go to and REALLY talk. He’s probably sick of me by now but I’m grateful. I’m also happy with the three girlfriends I’ve got, as well as the other two guys. With these people that I can count on 6 fingers, I know I can make a fool out of myself (and boy, did I really!) and know that they’ll still love me.

And that’s all that matters.

Thanks for being my friend.